Hair today, gone tomorrow

At least that's what it'll most likely be with my 7-year-old. She's donating a foot of hair to Locks of Love tonight. My 9-year-old had hers cut on Sunday. They've always had their hair long. It made my life easier to be able to pull it back into ponytails. In the summertime, I French-braid their hair just before bed so it will stay put all through camp the next day.
My older daughter had some friends who donated to Locks of Love, and she told me last year she wanted to as well. Her little sister chimed in that she did too. She's not so ready to lose her long locks, though.
I am. Brushing all that hair is making me crazy! It's down to her rear, and cutting for Locks of Love will still keep it below her shoulders, so it's time to go. Watching her older sister swing her hair around, happily relieved of all the weight and the knots that develop, helped her agree to cut it now.
But there's definitely something to nature over nurture. My older one is happiest in jeans and T-shirts. She's thrilled with her new "look." But my younger one prefers to be dressy, and loves her long hair. She's really concerned about losing it. I think if she's too antsy about it tonight, we may put it off a little longer.
I hope not, though!

Competing with peer pressure

I took my teen out for a driving lesson in an empty lot on Sunday. I want him to get as much behind-the-wheel time as possible. He's signing up for the six hours they offer at school, plus I want to get him in a defensive driving course during his permit year before he gets his provisional license.

A lesson in exactly what I DON'T want him to learn came by. A sports car came screaming into the lot, with a driver and three kids in it, and they pulled up beside us, laughing at my teen. A good friend of his was in the back. After some ribbing, they took off. Fast. They flew out of the parking lot, the driver didn't even slow down at the street, but rather flew right out. Another car coming in the opposite direction - the lane he had to cross to get where he was headed - wouldn't have been fully visible, since it was coming uphill.

The driver, my son said, was only 17. I don't think those were all relatives in his car, as required by a provisional license he would have to have.
My sister's daughter is getting her permit this year as well. We lost our brother to an irresponsible, reckless 19-year-old driver, so we had a long talk about this after my "lesson" on Sunday. My sister said she's trying to get her daughter to realize that she's not only terrified about HER getting hurt, she's also frightened that she could hurt others, and would have to find a way to live with those consequences.
I figure the next few years are going to be filled with a lot of lectures, and a lot of prayers.

"Two feet behind the line!"

That was a line repeated again and again by me, Coach Ryan and Coach Carlson Saturday. We coach the three co-ed second- and third-graders' basketball teams in our town, and our 7- to 9-year-olds haven't quite picked up the concept that when you take the ball out, you're supposed to start from out of bounds. At least they've picked up the dribbling thing, for the most part!
I love coaching the little ones. It's one of the most fun ways to get involved in your kids' activities. I coached my oldest child's soccer teams in first and second grades. Not knowing enough about soccer other than to point them in the right direction, I let other, more knowledgeable people take over as he got older. Basketball is my game, though. And as long as my kids want to play, I'll offer to coach. (As long as they want me to!) This is the best age, though, because they're so funny. They're always making mistakes, but that's how they learn. My favorite is when somebody runs all the way down court without dribbling, and you hear an entire chorus of parents and coaches yelling "Bounce the ball!"
Every now and then, we get a letter to the editor here complaining about coaches who are unfair, unsportsmanlike and overly competitive (when the kids are really young). I have so say, on all the soccer teams, basketball, baseball, T-ball and softball teams my three older children have been on, every single coach has been wonderful. I think, actually I hope, that those negative stories are becoming more of a rarity.

How do you do it?

"I don't know how you do it." I get that a lot. Four kids? A full-time job? Soccer, basketball, piano lessons, ballet, Rainbow Girls, a preschool, an elementary school and a high school to deal with?
I can't say it's easy, but I see a lot of people who have it a lot tougher, who don't have their parents, an in-law and absolutely wonderful daycare providers, all able to help out or switch gears at a moment's notice when something unexpected arises, as I do. Without Mom, Dad, my mother-in-law and Eileen and Carol, I couldn't do this at all.
There are parents who work two jobs. There are others who are torn, trying to find daycare so they can work, just to meet the exorbitant costs of living in New Jersey. And God bless parents who find themselves single -- I can only lightly empathize, my husband and mother-in-law recently went to Panama to visit family for nine days, leaving me with work and the kids. I really learned to appreciate our slightly off schedules -- I leave later in the morning, my husband gets home earlier in the evenings -- and the ability to say "I'm running to the store" without loading my three younger ones into the car. (And how that effort will change a 15-minute visit to Foodtown to a half hour or more!)
I can't fully define what's going to be on this blog day in and day out. I'm used to leaning toward political topics, from my job as an editorial writer, where I've been blogging for a year. But my working New Jersey mother stories spilled into that a lot, just like my life spills into work. My job is 8 or so hours a day, 5 days a week. And often, during those 8 hours, I'm giving up lunch so I can transport children or attend an after school event or sports game. Or I'll give up lunch so I can hit the gym.
I'll aim at topics now that are of interest to all moms, not just those who work, but for all of us coping with the various speed bumps that land in our way as we try to take the routes that are best for our families and ourselves.
And I'll be asking readers to contribute too, especially asking the question, "How do you do it?"