Don't smoke on my dollar

Call me a hypocrite, but I'm going to battle my kids with everything I've got if they take up smoking cigarettes. I started as a teen, and know all too well the difficulty of giving up a pack-a-day habit a few decades later as a grownup. I was able to do it, thanks to Nicorette gum, but it was awful. And I gained 20 pounds. But today, I can run a few miles every morning and I don't freak out with every cough I get that I did myself in with that nasty habit. My clothes don't smell (except after I run).
I caught my teenage son smoking. I was furious. I knew he had dabbled with it within the last six months, but his last girlfriend got him to quit. I really miss her.
Anyway, now that he's "single" again, he's got to look cool, I suppose. Not on my watch. I made a list of new rules in the house, the first being that he'll pay a symbolic "rent" of $60 a month, roughly the cost of a carton of cigarettes, and we'll donate that to charity.

He wants a lip ring. I showed him pictures of lip cancer and said, "You're inviting that if you're inhaling carcinogens with an open wound on your lip, so forget it." I will no longer give him any cash advances before his paycheck gets in, or during school when he's not working. If he wants to spend money on cigarettes, none of it's coming from me. He said he doesn't buy the smokes, a friend takes them from a parent. I said that I don't care. He's going to learn the value of a dollar, and while he may be able to mooch the few he smokes a week now, that's not going to last, and those smokes will become more important to him, and he'll have to give up buying other things if he has a $60-a-week habit, so he might as well get used to it now.
It was a financial spur that got me to quit (they were up to $2.50 a pack and I wanted to buy a new car, go figure!), although I did want to for health reasons too. And I think this is working with him. He promised to stop, and if he does now, he can avoid an awful habit. And he knows we have "eyes" everywhere. I'm not naive, I know he could sneak them. But I'm going to fight like hell to keep him from it.

Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after

A co-worker admitted he "cheats" a little sometimes when it's time to read his preschooler a bedtime story by skipping a few lines here and there. I laughed -- I've got that perfected. I did it last night when my youngest was battling going to bed. He tearfully promised me that he would go to bed if I read him two more books. We read "Goodnight, Gorilla," which takes less than a minute anyway (that's one of my favorites -- and he cracks up every time we look through it), then he picked out "Berenstain Bears go to the Moon." Another shortie, but I still edited a little out during my reading.
I usually read every word, but when we're overdue for bedtime and they're really in need of a few Z's, I'll skip a graph here or there. But the ability to do that only lasts for so long. My co-worker said he was snagged by his little boy, who stopped him and said he skipped stuff. They get it memorized pretty fast, don't they?

The Pharmer on the Dell

I heard from a friend who also has a teen about the phenomenon of "Pharm" parties. I'd never heard of them before, and for a few minutes, I thought she was saying "Farm" and was waiting to hear testimonies about cow-tipping.
Nope. Seems these parties involve kids who sneak pills from family members' prescriptions, get together, thrown them in a bowl, then take pills without knowing what they're ingesting. I had never heard of this one before. How frightening!

I'm praying this one's an idea that's gone -- if it isn't already -- quickly. I know common sense isn't the strongest attribute among teens, but this really takes the cake. And they get and share all their crazy doings with each other -- and with a much wider base of people -- so much more than we did, with cell phones and text messaging, or Instant-messaging or leaving comments to each other on MySpace.com.
But it's a good reminder to keep an eye on any prescriptions you may hold, and keep it out of "reach." And remind grandparents to keep stuff out of teens' reach too.

Marking up the calendar

I keep "Sharpies" in my kitchen drawer for items on our big wall calendar that need extra attention. Those are things like class trips that we have to be prepared for, doctor visits, recreation sports league games, school concerts and other special events. Regular stuff such as piano lessons and ballet, or we'll-make-it-if-we-can events, are in pen or pencil. Not very high-tech, but it's right in my face when I'm getting things ready at night and getting breakfast together in the morning.
Nearly every day in May, through the first half of June, has a Sharpie event on it.
Moms barely have time to go to the bathroom between early May and mid June. The schools' spring breaks are over, the weather is nice enough to plan outdoor activities and certain class trips, and everybody's struggling to get everything wrapped up at the same time.
It was a lot easier when our oldest was the only one with any real activities, but we manage to get everyone where they're supposed to be. Homework gets its everyday focus before TV or computer. Housework falls by the wayside, Meals can be satisfied with hot dogs and burgers at the ball field snack shack. Spring is my favorite season, as crazy as it gets. Here's to the next month: May we survive it, and remember to bring along the sunscreen.

Click it or Ticket and Pay it

I think it's kind of silly that people are ranting about Gov. Corzine during the Click it or Ticket campaign. This campaign's been going on for years, and it's pretty well publicized that it's coming up. So just buckle up.
I got a seat belt ticket when my daughter unbuckled herself so she could reach over the back of the seat and grab a juice box. She did that right in front of a trooper on I-195. Had I known she couldn't reach the cooler (about an inch too short) I would've just pulled over. But what can you do?
So I paid the $46. And I had a talk with all my kids about unbuckling. I hit a windshield when I was a teen, and had a weeklong concussion. It was lucky I didn't go through it. Since then, I've made a habit of buckling up. I feel strange if I don't.
I don't mind that this is a law -- I didn't realize that teens up to 18 have to be buckled in the back, so it gives me an excuse to make sure my oldest and his friends wear them. I hope they never have to find out why.

My flutterfly

There's a mannerism my younger daughter (now 7 1/2) has that she's starting to outgrow. I'm going to miss it. When she gets excited about something, she raises her hands and kinda "flutters" ... waving her hands and her fingers. A friend calls her the "epitome of tickled pink," because when my daughter gets excited, she really gets jumpy and giggly. Now, she's starting to catch herself.
When she was younger, I always thought her "fluttering" was cute, until someone said it could be a sign of some type of disorder. While she only does it now when she's excited, back then she did it all the time, especially when she was concentrating very hard on something. We took her to a neurologist, who said everything's fine, but that she gets "motor overload," I believe was the term. That was a few years ago, and now most of the other "fluttering" has disappeared. But she's funny when she gets happy/excited.
Any of your kids have any little mannerisms that worried you, or that were just really cute? When we were having my daughter evaluated, a friend said she reminded her of another girl who would sometimes weave her first few fingers together when she talked about something she was excited about, almost looking like she was knitting, but with no needles. By her preteens, it had stopped, but they always thought it was adorable while it lasted.
It is.

Dating by cell-phone provider

OK, my teen did it again. With an incredibly busy month, I didn't monitor his cell-phone usage as closely as I usually do. But early on in the billing cycle, I saw he was using up an incredible number of minutes for non-Verizon calls -- we get unlimited "IN" network, and I pay for 700 extra minutes for our three cell phones. That's usually more than enough. But his girlfriend had her phone taken away for the month, so he was calling her land line and chatting from his cell phone. I told him to use our land line when he was home, and to watch his minutes, as he was already approaching 300 minutes in only a week -- we had three to go. A few days later, I saw that he heeded my words and had only put a few more minutes on. Satisfied that he would be conscientious, I stopped paying attention.
Silly me. I should've known better. After all, he's 16.
Got the bill. He used 600 minutes. Now, with my daughters being in the school variety show and my younger daughter's First Communion all happening at once, I was on the phone a lot, with the other moms for the variety show and with my family members, coordinating the Communion Party. And I used up about 350. My husband, thank goodness, only used about 50.
So the youngster's paying up. I told him not to make plans for his next couple of paychecks -- he just got his summer job back. The first $120 is coming to me, for the cell bill. That might make him check his minutes used a little more often -- I don't think he's been checking them at all, young love being what it is. I should tell him his first "line" in the future, instead of the old cheesy "What's your sign," he should ask, "Who's your network?"

Diet busters

OK, so I've got a little over three weeks before I have to stuff my body into a very short and tight (thank God it's black!) dance outfit for my first recital in decades. I still can't believe I'm doing this -- a Mommy and Me tap with seven other moms at our daughters' dance school.
Problem is, I agreed to it about 8 pounds ago -- my winter holiday "leftovers" that stayed with me through the spring. That's not a huge amount of gain, but ridding myself of it would make me much more confident, especially when I have to turn sideways. I want to concentrate on getting the steps right, not sucking in my gut.
I've been jogging, and trying to stick to my diet and workout regimen. My biggest stumbling block comes from the Starbucks guy ... a co-worker who brings in tons of Starbucks stuff and puts it out in the coffee station for all to share. This stuff is too hard to pass up. I wish he would bring the calorie content sign and post it up over the goodies. Those fudge brownies are irresistible, but if I saw that they were like 8,000 calories a bite, that might boost my willpower.
Dropped 2 of the 8 pounds so far ... 3 1/2 weeks to rid myself of at least another four. But it's a good motivation to get back to my goal weight for the summer. So pass the Romaine, and I'll pass up the brownies. For a few more weeks, anyway.

'80s flashback

Egads, it's been a few years since I've seen this guy. Good old "I don't like Mondays" Bob Geldof. Live Aid Bob Geldof. Really cool Bob Geldof. At least I always thought so. And even kinda cute Bob Geldof, in a too-skinny-but-that's-strangely-part-of-his-attraction kind of way.
He's kinda scary looking now, don't ya think? A lot of bands from my school days are touring again -- I saw Asia at Count Basie over the winter and we're going to see Genesis in the fall. I missed Rick Springfield on Mother's Day. I didn't want to stay all day at Six Flags. But I think we might go see KC & the Sunshine Band and Pat Benatar when they're there.
It's a lot of fun, seeing reunited bands, or catching up with those that never quite split. My sister called me when she was on vacation in Florida where she caught a concert by Huey Lewis & The News. I got to hear some of their hits through her cell phone. It was pretty cool.
Who would you like to see on tour? I saw the Go-Gos and the B-52s a few years back -- that was a fun one. I saw a great show. I'm not sure if they are still airing it on VH1, called "Bands Reunited" where they contacted all the members of different bands from the 80s era and got them back together for one concert. What a great trip down memory lane.

Pets and kids

I'd love to have a dog. I just don't have the time to train, walk, scoop and the like. Maybe when the kids are all a little older. But first, I have to consider Mo's feelings.
I had a cat in my single and early married days ... her creative name was "Kitty." When her health was failing, my husband said, "That's it, no more pets." When we were driving away from the vets after putting her to sleep, he saw me crying and said, "I guess we can go get another kitten." We didn't, but I held him to it a year later when a stray (obviously somebody's former pet, the way it took to people) had a litter in a friend's garage. The family started playing with the kittens right away to domesticate them, and when they were 6 weeks old, we took home Mo.
Weird thing: Mo's afraid of strangers, but is absolutely crazy about my mom. The first night we had her home, my mom came over and cat-sat with me for a couple of hours. It seems Mo never forgot. I had to sleep down in the living room with Mo that night because she was so scared. Mo is still a fraidy-cat. She spends most of her time in our room, stays under the bed when the youngest is running around, and NEVER comes out if we have company. But if she hears my mother's voice, she comes flying down the stairs and insists on being pet. She doesn't even do that for the kids, me or my husband. Just when my mom shows up.

Happy I'm Doing Nothing Day!

For Mother's Day, I want to do ... Nothing. Maybe go to Six Flags with the kids. Hey, Rick Springfield's playing, I wonder if ol' Dr. Noah Drake is as cute as he was on General Hospital, in a 20-years-later kinda way.
BUT, I'm NOT:
1) Cooking or doing anything related to meal preparation
2) Cleaning
3) Doing Laundry
Unfortunately, that means I have to do it all on Saturday. Which pretty much means this weekend will be like any other weekend, only I've committed to doing none of those three evils on Sunday. When we're not overloaded with events, I try and do all the housework on Saturday so I can enjoy Sunday. But this weekend, I'm bound to have a "menu" -- usually in crayon -- brought to me in bed (items on menu: Cheerios or Lucky Charms, Toast, Apple Juice) and a tray filled with those items arriving shortly after. That's heaven.

Kids in movies that aren't for kids

I can't wait for Shrek the Third to come out. This time, my youngest is old enough to sit through a movie. Should be fun for all of us.
Have you ever gone to a non-kid movie when somebody brought a child who was far too young to be there? That drives me nuts. My husband and I got a sitter and went to the movie theater when "Titanic" came out. We arrived shortly before the movie started, so the only seats available were right up front. Somebody somewhere in the middle of the theater didn't get a sitter and brought a young child. From what I could tell by the crying that would kick in from time to time, this kid was toddler to early preschool age range.
I didn't complain to management, although I was sorely tempted. I really felt bad for the child. This movie was reaaaaaallly long -- more than three hours. And loud, too. That's cruelty. It was probably tougher on the kid than the kid was on us.
I came really close to standing up at one point and yelling, "Take that kid home!" But I chickened out.

How do you get kids to wear glasses?

My little guy's getting glasses. The opthalmologist said he's farsighted, but the specs should help him correct it over a period of time. Most likely, he won't need glasses when he's older, or will only need them lightly, like me. I'm a little nearsighted, but rarely wear glasses -- theaters, sports arenas, that type of stuff.
We ordered the glasses. They're the bendy kind, not broken easily (I hope!) and they'll be ready in a few days. But watching him wear them, he kept pulling them off and saying, "I don't wike these mommy!"
How do you get a preschooler to wear glasses? I'm thinking about starting him around the house, then encouraging him to wear them to school. How long does it take them to get used to wearing glasses?

Another "good" tired

Wasn't easy getting up at 6 this morning to get the teen off to school. Here was the weekend: Friday, took the day off, got kids to school, then 3-mile jog with sister visiting from Georgia, then to school to chaperone kids during school variety show, kids home after school, started massive cleaning project, younger daughter to First Communion practice, quick dinner, two girls to school nighttime Variety Show, home around 10ish.
Saturday: one daughter to ballet at 10, three kids to Jenkinson's Aquarium at 11:15, lunch on the boardwalk, return to Jenkinson's to see seals and sharks fed, (quick run to add money to parking meter) a couple of rides on the boardwalk, return home, get one child to a birthday party, start Barbecue Shopping, pick child back up, return home, get children fed, head up to BJ's for final Barbecue Shopping, return home, then clean and make homemade macaroni and potato salads. Midnight, head to bed, regretting not buying mac and potato salads.
Sunday: Older daughter to Sunday School at 8:45, younger daughter gets hair curled and dressed up for her First Communion. Communion at 10 with whole family, plus out of towners. Got called a "loser" by teenager for getting teary-eyed when daughter received Communion. Got everyone home, then two more hours of cleaning bathrooms, deck, re-vacuuming house, getting appetizers and dips ready. 1:15 p.m.: family arrives for pre-barbecue family get-together. 2:30 p.m.: friends begin arriving. 5 p.m.: beaming inside after hearing friends say how good potato salad was. 7:30 p.m.: last of crowd heads out. 8-9 p.m.: begin cleanup. 9 to 10 p.m.: "The Sopranos" and getting kids to bed. 10 to 11:30: rest of cleanup. 11:30: Pick up newspaper and try to read. 11:40: Give up and climb into bed.
I thought I'd be a complete waste product today, but have to admit, I had such a great time (OK, except for all the cleaning) this weekend, I don't really feel the exhaustion. It's a "good" tired.
Tonight: Pizza.

Exhausting, but worth the memories.

It's one of "those" weeks. Everything's happening at once. The little guy's been sick since Sunday -- he's now on antibiotics, but we've had a mostly sleepless week. The teenager's full of drama. The girls are overloaded with activities. They had a softball game on Monday and piano lessons on Tuesday. Tonight they have their Rainbow Girls meeting. Then I have to fly up to catch the second half of the Women's Expo that the Press is cosponsoring. The girls are in a school variety show on Friday, so the other moms and I are putting the final touches on their costumes and props this week. All of us snuck in a little practice time last night after dinner. They've got dress rehearsal Thursday night for several hours. Sandwiched in between school and the show on Friday, my youngest has First Holy Communion practice. Things don't slow down on the weekend either. We've got ballet and a Rainbow Girls outing Saturday morning, a birthday party Saturday afternoon and my younger daughter's First Communion Sunday. When my older daughter made hers, I was organized and catered a luncheon for family and friends. Now, I think it'll be hamburgers and hot dogs on our deck. It's the best I can do!
But my eyes will be happily tearing up at that Mass, I know it. She watched other kids making theirs on Sunday, and lamented, "I have to wait a whole week?"
Believe me, I told her, it'll fly by. It has. It's Wednesday afternoon, and it feels like she said that to me this morning. We are overextended this week, but except for the little guy taking ill and the drama and the no sleep, it's good overextended. Would that make sense to anybody but a mom?

E.T. would probably "Text Home" today

Got a teenager? Then you've got the cell phone blues. As much as I want to say, "I didn't need a cell phone when I was a teenager!" I'm just glad he has one. He's limited on how many minutes he uses, although he's almost unlimited with text messages. You need that when you use up to 50 in a matter of minutes having conversations like this: "watsup" "nthn" "u goin sat?" "idk, u?" "idk, mebbe" ... Will this generation be able to actually spell out things? Sigh. I don't know.

Anyhow, our teen has had a spell of misfortunes with cell phones. Two dropped into his cereal bowl while he texted over breakfast -- milk may do a body good, but it's hell on electronics. One fell out of his pocket. One got kicked out of his hand during some horsing around. He's due for a new one, but not for another month (and he's paying for the insurance this time!)

He used up our old phones and a few others he got from people who got upgrades. So I said I'd get him a cheapo on E-bay. Be warned if you try to do this. Phones manufactured before 2002 aren't 9-1-1 compliant. Police can't use that to find you if you dial 9-1-1, so the companies won't activate them anymore. I found out the hard way. I clicked on an e-bay phone for a dollar, then read it was really for parts. The display screen didn't work. So I got another "like new" one for $8. Went to hook it up, sorry, no can do, it's too old. So I got out the dollar phone, saying, "He can certainly live without his display screen for five weeks." Lo and behold, it was within the limit, and the display screen actually does work.
Now if he can only keep it out of his bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, we'll be in great shape.