No kids? Okidokey
Got a call the other day from a friend who was throwing together an impromptu barbecue this weekend. The idea came up only last weekend, and my friend said she'd get it together. Then she called me early this week with the word after surveying the other attendees: Nobody's bringing kids. Actually, she then decided to even getting a sitter for her own grandkids who are visiting.
Is that a problem? Nope. We got plenty of notice, we can find a sitter. The kids can do without us for an evening, and we certainly can use the break. If it was a bad time or we couldn't find a sitter, one or the other, or neither of us would go, no hard feelings.
We barbecued for just our family Sunday and Monday, took them out to a kids' themed dinner Tuesday, took them to a kids arts and crafts program Wednesday, are taking them to a festival/fireworks tonight, to a family barbecue tomorrow and another family barbecue on sunday. Saturday night, we can spend the evening with friends.
I know some parents get upset when told it's a "grownups only" day. I remember single, or married-with-no-kids friends feeling terrible about offending parents by requesting that no children attend a party. But I've been on both sides. I've been to parties where it's perfectly OK for children to run amok and to other affairs where children just would not fit in. I've also been to the events in the latter category where parents insisted on bringing a child or children. That's unfair to the host or hostess, and to the other guests who found sitters and would like a chance to relax without a child underfoot. Now there's a youngster who may need to be entertained, kid-friendly foods to be found and the "watch what you say in front of the child" rule in force.
Out of seven days this week, six and a half of mine will be devoted to work and children. When I got the message that this Saturday's barbecue was grownups only, I actually was a little relieved. This beautiful house we'll be in isn't set up for a gaggle of children, and I'd spend much of my time making sure mine were all behaving. Being able to chat unfettered with the other grownups is a welcome break once in awhile. We'll keep the kids busy all day, do some play dates and the like, then get our sitter and order a pizza for them and head out.
I always feel a little guilty that I don't feel guilty about taking grownup time, especially since I'm a working mom. But we all need a social life. Occasionally social and parent roles can intertwine, and it's great, but not every time, and that's just fine too.
Is that a problem? Nope. We got plenty of notice, we can find a sitter. The kids can do without us for an evening, and we certainly can use the break. If it was a bad time or we couldn't find a sitter, one or the other, or neither of us would go, no hard feelings.
We barbecued for just our family Sunday and Monday, took them out to a kids' themed dinner Tuesday, took them to a kids arts and crafts program Wednesday, are taking them to a festival/fireworks tonight, to a family barbecue tomorrow and another family barbecue on sunday. Saturday night, we can spend the evening with friends.
I know some parents get upset when told it's a "grownups only" day. I remember single, or married-with-no-kids friends feeling terrible about offending parents by requesting that no children attend a party. But I've been on both sides. I've been to parties where it's perfectly OK for children to run amok and to other affairs where children just would not fit in. I've also been to the events in the latter category where parents insisted on bringing a child or children. That's unfair to the host or hostess, and to the other guests who found sitters and would like a chance to relax without a child underfoot. Now there's a youngster who may need to be entertained, kid-friendly foods to be found and the "watch what you say in front of the child" rule in force.
Out of seven days this week, six and a half of mine will be devoted to work and children. When I got the message that this Saturday's barbecue was grownups only, I actually was a little relieved. This beautiful house we'll be in isn't set up for a gaggle of children, and I'd spend much of my time making sure mine were all behaving. Being able to chat unfettered with the other grownups is a welcome break once in awhile. We'll keep the kids busy all day, do some play dates and the like, then get our sitter and order a pizza for them and head out.
I always feel a little guilty that I don't feel guilty about taking grownup time, especially since I'm a working mom. But we all need a social life. Occasionally social and parent roles can intertwine, and it's great, but not every time, and that's just fine too.
posted by Clare McDowell at 7:21 AM
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