The Perils of Praise
Well, even after a good night's sleep I'm still sick. But before I take advantage of my son's nap time to take a much-needed nap myself I want to share with my readers a New York magazine article that contains, I think, the most profound social research on childrearing that I've seen in a very long time.
The article, "How Not to Talk to Your Kids: The Inverse Power of Praise," discusses findings that suggest it may be detrimental to your children to constantly tell them how smart they are.
I have longed despised our society's overabundance of undue praise on mediocre acts. And I always swore my boy Hendrick would never accept a soccer trophy for being part of a losing team. Does everyone really need to go home with a prize to feel good about themselves? There are such things as winners and losers in this world, and the sooner he finds out the better. (He'll certainly figure it out when he enters the job market.)
Moreover, this research, I pray, will help bring back into fashion the old world philosophy of telling children that hard work reaps rewards. Those who play it safe because they are afraid of failure never really reach their full potential.
Telling children to work at something is telling them that there's a goal out there worth attaining and it may not come easy. Even if they're smart.
Please read this, and I would love to know what you think.
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html
The article, "How Not to Talk to Your Kids: The Inverse Power of Praise," discusses findings that suggest it may be detrimental to your children to constantly tell them how smart they are.
I have longed despised our society's overabundance of undue praise on mediocre acts. And I always swore my boy Hendrick would never accept a soccer trophy for being part of a losing team. Does everyone really need to go home with a prize to feel good about themselves? There are such things as winners and losers in this world, and the sooner he finds out the better. (He'll certainly figure it out when he enters the job market.)
Moreover, this research, I pray, will help bring back into fashion the old world philosophy of telling children that hard work reaps rewards. Those who play it safe because they are afraid of failure never really reach their full potential.
Telling children to work at something is telling them that there's a goal out there worth attaining and it may not come easy. Even if they're smart.
Please read this, and I would love to know what you think.
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html
Labels: praise study
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