A Cookie Crumbling
My mother ordered me a subscription of Working Mother magazine last year in an attempt to show her support for my decision to work part-time while raising my son.
At first, I was intrigued by a magazine that celebrates women who have both a career and a family. My self esteem, however, started to suffer as I stared month after month at all those professional women on the cover who seemed to have it all. You know what I mean; the women who have a high-paying job, a handsome husband, adorable kids and a clean house. Did I mention the perfect hair and makeup?
I would read their stories to get inspiration. I would tell myself to adopt some of their secrets for success. Then I would urge myself to work harder, more efficiently, so I could be like them.
I'm still not ready to be a cover girl, though.
Today I read an article about mothers being honored by Cookie magazine for their efforts to improve the lives of women and children. Several of those Smart Cookies, as they are called, were celebrities who founded charitable organizations or raised millions of dollars for worthy causes. Others were "amazing moms" who accomplished great things, according to the magazine.
Most days I feel like this cookie is crumbling. Maybe this is what it's like for middle-class moms with no celebrity status and no money for a maid, nanny and gardener. It's not easy to hold it together, especially when, in my case, I have a toddler who won't sit still, a husband who works long hours and a disabled father. I work three nights a week as a copy editor and write this blog and feature stories in my spare time. (It's 11:50 p.m.)
But before I allowed myself to feel inadequate once again, I asked myself a very important question: How do they find the time to be so amazing?
Newswoman Barbara Walters once said (I'm paraphrasing here) you can have the perfect job, the perfect marriage and the perfect children, but you can't have them all at once.
We all want to hit that trifecta, but something inevitably suffers when we're forced to choose what is most important to us. Maybe those choices don't always sit well with us, as we struggle for perfection, but we have to make them.
I once had a high-powered boss with a young daughter. The woman, who made big bucks, told me she spent one hour in the morning with her child before leaving for work and one hour at night with her before the girl went to bed.
I couldn't bear to spend only two waking hours a day with my son, so I guess I've made my choice.
His name is Hendrick.
At first, I was intrigued by a magazine that celebrates women who have both a career and a family. My self esteem, however, started to suffer as I stared month after month at all those professional women on the cover who seemed to have it all. You know what I mean; the women who have a high-paying job, a handsome husband, adorable kids and a clean house. Did I mention the perfect hair and makeup?
I would read their stories to get inspiration. I would tell myself to adopt some of their secrets for success. Then I would urge myself to work harder, more efficiently, so I could be like them.
I'm still not ready to be a cover girl, though.
Today I read an article about mothers being honored by Cookie magazine for their efforts to improve the lives of women and children. Several of those Smart Cookies, as they are called, were celebrities who founded charitable organizations or raised millions of dollars for worthy causes. Others were "amazing moms" who accomplished great things, according to the magazine.
Most days I feel like this cookie is crumbling. Maybe this is what it's like for middle-class moms with no celebrity status and no money for a maid, nanny and gardener. It's not easy to hold it together, especially when, in my case, I have a toddler who won't sit still, a husband who works long hours and a disabled father. I work three nights a week as a copy editor and write this blog and feature stories in my spare time. (It's 11:50 p.m.)
But before I allowed myself to feel inadequate once again, I asked myself a very important question: How do they find the time to be so amazing?
Newswoman Barbara Walters once said (I'm paraphrasing here) you can have the perfect job, the perfect marriage and the perfect children, but you can't have them all at once.
We all want to hit that trifecta, but something inevitably suffers when we're forced to choose what is most important to us. Maybe those choices don't always sit well with us, as we struggle for perfection, but we have to make them.
I once had a high-powered boss with a young daughter. The woman, who made big bucks, told me she spent one hour in the morning with her child before leaving for work and one hour at night with her before the girl went to bed.
I couldn't bear to spend only two waking hours a day with my son, so I guess I've made my choice.
His name is Hendrick.
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