Avoiding the Tangled Web of Deception
New research suggests that the art of deception is something human beings develop in infancy, but I never stopped to think about a baby's ruse as a behavior that needs to be carefully monitored.
Britain's Daily Telegram reported Sunday that behavioral experts found infants began to lie from as young as six months old. "Until now, psychologists had thought the developing brains were not capable of the difficult art of lying until four years old," the article states.
I found this research fascinating because I never considered that my son was fully aware of his deceitful actions. It's true, he knows exactly when to turn on the waterworks and how to smile his way out of a sticky situation, but I didn't realize he was consciously trying to manipulate mama.
The researcher identified seven categories of deception used between ages six months and 3 years old. They begin with the fake cry and pretend laugh for attention, move on to concealing forbidden activities and then to bluffing when threatened with punishment.
More experienced parents may be quite familiar with this instinctual progression, while newer parents just consider it thoughtless reaction. Perhaps we novices better think again.
But why should it be a matter of concern?
"Simple fibs help to train them for more complex deceptions in later life," the article states.
As the researcher pointed out, her work "demonstrates (children are) clearly able to distinguish that what they are doing will have an effect. This is essentially all adults do when they tell lies, except in adults it becomes more morally loaded."
The next time Hendrick tries to convince me he didn't break the rules, there will be harsher consequences for his actions. Better to learn young that there's nothing endearing about a liar and a cheat, then to allow him to cultivate his deceptive skills and weaken his character.
Britain's Daily Telegram reported Sunday that behavioral experts found infants began to lie from as young as six months old. "Until now, psychologists had thought the developing brains were not capable of the difficult art of lying until four years old," the article states.
I found this research fascinating because I never considered that my son was fully aware of his deceitful actions. It's true, he knows exactly when to turn on the waterworks and how to smile his way out of a sticky situation, but I didn't realize he was consciously trying to manipulate mama.
The researcher identified seven categories of deception used between ages six months and 3 years old. They begin with the fake cry and pretend laugh for attention, move on to concealing forbidden activities and then to bluffing when threatened with punishment.
More experienced parents may be quite familiar with this instinctual progression, while newer parents just consider it thoughtless reaction. Perhaps we novices better think again.
But why should it be a matter of concern?
"Simple fibs help to train them for more complex deceptions in later life," the article states.
As the researcher pointed out, her work "demonstrates (children are) clearly able to distinguish that what they are doing will have an effect. This is essentially all adults do when they tell lies, except in adults it becomes more morally loaded."
The next time Hendrick tries to convince me he didn't break the rules, there will be harsher consequences for his actions. Better to learn young that there's nothing endearing about a liar and a cheat, then to allow him to cultivate his deceptive skills and weaken his character.
1 Comments:
One night I found my 3 year old son elbows deep in water in the sink playing with a hand towel. The floor was covered in water. I asked him what he was doing. "nuffin'", he said. I let that slide and asked him to help me clean up. While we were wiping the floor, I asked him why he did what he did. "I wasn't doin' nuffin. I was sleeping." I put him in time out and told him I didn't get angry about the water, but I was very angry that he lied. He still doesn't get it. He still lies about things he gets caught red-handed doing.
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