The parents of a toddler who died from chronic malnutrition each were sentenced yesterday to three years in prison. The Asbury Park pair had pleaded to manslaughter charges, saying they didn't mean to recklessly cause the death of their 14-month-old son, Jmeir White, in August 2004.
Jmeir's mother, who is legally blind, was raising three children - all born with severe anemia and growth problems. It wasn't really clear how much of a role the father played in the children's lives, but both parents accepted responsibility in the end for their poor parenting.
It's heartbreaking to hear about the death of a child, particularly one that didn't have to go so soon. Jmeir was only 10 pounds when he died - and no one apparently intervened to save him.
This case had prompted state officials to retool DYFS protocols so that doctors, nurses and caseworkers are better trained to spot signs of neglect. (A visiting nurse attributed Jmeir's emaciated frame to his mother's dwarfism.) Those changes are a good thing, but they are not enough. Relying on the state to catch every at-risk child is a lofty yet unattainable goal.
The judge said Friday both Tahija Handberry, 25, and Wesley White, 29, were "terribly limited'' in their parenting skills. That should have been obvious to their family and close friends and perhaps even the supermarket cashier.
Did good people just keep quiet so as not to offend the parents? Did their subtle or not-so-subtle hints that Jmeir needed to see a doctor go unheeded? Or did those who knew the family best simply say it was none of their business?
Despite their limitations, the parents must take the blame for this death. But society had a role to play here as well. I don't believe that more experienced parents could not have looked at this child - who was half the weight of the average 14-month-old - without seriously questioning if something was wrong.
Sometimes parenting can be overwhelming, and those with sick children may not see the obvious signs of trouble.
The next time your gut tells you that there's a child in trouble, don't shrug it off. If you can't find a delicate way to talk to the parents, tell the authorities and let them deal with the situation. And if they don't respond properly, call again and again until they do.
Countless people in Jmeir's life must have seen him whither away. How can it be possible that no one was able to save him?
Jmeir's mother, who is legally blind, was raising three children - all born with severe anemia and growth problems. It wasn't really clear how much of a role the father played in the children's lives, but both parents accepted responsibility in the end for their poor parenting.
It's heartbreaking to hear about the death of a child, particularly one that didn't have to go so soon. Jmeir was only 10 pounds when he died - and no one apparently intervened to save him.
This case had prompted state officials to retool DYFS protocols so that doctors, nurses and caseworkers are better trained to spot signs of neglect. (A visiting nurse attributed Jmeir's emaciated frame to his mother's dwarfism.) Those changes are a good thing, but they are not enough. Relying on the state to catch every at-risk child is a lofty yet unattainable goal.
The judge said Friday both Tahija Handberry, 25, and Wesley White, 29, were "terribly limited'' in their parenting skills. That should have been obvious to their family and close friends and perhaps even the supermarket cashier.
Did good people just keep quiet so as not to offend the parents? Did their subtle or not-so-subtle hints that Jmeir needed to see a doctor go unheeded? Or did those who knew the family best simply say it was none of their business?
Despite their limitations, the parents must take the blame for this death. But society had a role to play here as well. I don't believe that more experienced parents could not have looked at this child - who was half the weight of the average 14-month-old - without seriously questioning if something was wrong.
Sometimes parenting can be overwhelming, and those with sick children may not see the obvious signs of trouble.
The next time your gut tells you that there's a child in trouble, don't shrug it off. If you can't find a delicate way to talk to the parents, tell the authorities and let them deal with the situation. And if they don't respond properly, call again and again until they do.
Countless people in Jmeir's life must have seen him whither away. How can it be possible that no one was able to save him?
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