Snuggle Time
One of the most wonderful transitions from infant to toddler is a child's ability to show affection.
Perhaps the most pleasant reaction you can expect from an infant is a smile or a giggle or a finger squeeze. It is wonderful when they catch your gaze, but they usually don't hold it for long. Their primal needs, like comfort and hunger, seem to take precedent over any emotional ones. For parents who are expending every ounce of energy into their newborns, it doesn't feel like much of a return on your investment.
Maybe that's one of the reasons moms sometimes feel so lonely and depressed while they are raising babies.
Then comes the toddler stage. For my son, it started out with temper tantrums and random acts of violence: think pinching, biting and hitting whenever he didn't get his way.
I started to wonder if I was raising the next class bully, someone void of real compassion.
Then, just when I thought he was softening up I realized my boy instinctively knew how to be manipulative. His beautiful smile can light up a room, and he knows exactly when to flash his little pearly whites. He offers a hug and a kiss when he's had enough time-out, and he makes a funny face when he wants to get out of a sticky situation.
Again, I was worried. My 2-year-old son knows how to exhibit disingenuous displays of affection to get himself out of trouble. Yikes!
Parents, of course, worry too much for no good reason.
Recently, Hendrick and I have developed a routine after each bath. I wrap him in a big fluffy towel as I sit on the closed toilet seat. He then climbs into my lap and snuggles me with his damp arms and legs. I hold him tightly and kiss his fuzzy wet head until he is dry.
It is the only time of the day when he sits perfectly still without a form of entertainment in front of his face. He just seems happy in the moment.
Children eventually learn to love genuinely. You just have to keep showing them.
Perhaps the most pleasant reaction you can expect from an infant is a smile or a giggle or a finger squeeze. It is wonderful when they catch your gaze, but they usually don't hold it for long. Their primal needs, like comfort and hunger, seem to take precedent over any emotional ones. For parents who are expending every ounce of energy into their newborns, it doesn't feel like much of a return on your investment.
Maybe that's one of the reasons moms sometimes feel so lonely and depressed while they are raising babies.
Then comes the toddler stage. For my son, it started out with temper tantrums and random acts of violence: think pinching, biting and hitting whenever he didn't get his way.
I started to wonder if I was raising the next class bully, someone void of real compassion.
Then, just when I thought he was softening up I realized my boy instinctively knew how to be manipulative. His beautiful smile can light up a room, and he knows exactly when to flash his little pearly whites. He offers a hug and a kiss when he's had enough time-out, and he makes a funny face when he wants to get out of a sticky situation.
Again, I was worried. My 2-year-old son knows how to exhibit disingenuous displays of affection to get himself out of trouble. Yikes!
Parents, of course, worry too much for no good reason.
Recently, Hendrick and I have developed a routine after each bath. I wrap him in a big fluffy towel as I sit on the closed toilet seat. He then climbs into my lap and snuggles me with his damp arms and legs. I hold him tightly and kiss his fuzzy wet head until he is dry.
It is the only time of the day when he sits perfectly still without a form of entertainment in front of his face. He just seems happy in the moment.
Children eventually learn to love genuinely. You just have to keep showing them.
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