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Diaper Diva

This site is not just for mothers of infants and toddlers who live at the Jersey Shore but for all moms who want to share their wisdom and silly stories or ask questions about raising young children. New blogs will be posted weekdays during naptime.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Paid Leave

Diaper Diva has been eagerly following legislation that would offer paid family leave to care for newborns or sick relatives. The bill was released from a state Senate committee last week and is headed to the full Senate for consideration.

Sen. Stephen Sweeney, the bill's prime sponsor, said he believes the right compromise has been reached to win approval by early March. The modified measure would let employees earn as much as two-thirds of their salaries, up to $524 a week, for six weeks (down from 10 weeks) and has greater protections against fraud. The time would run concurrent with the 12 unpaid weeks of family leave mandated under federal law.

Sweeney, a Gloucester County Democrat, said he anticipates Assembly Speaker Joseph D. Roberts, D-Camden, will help the Assembly version pass through his chamber. Gov. Corzine is expected to sign the bill into law. If so, New Jersey would become the third state in the nation to offer paid leave, behind California and Washington. Ten other states are considering similar legislation, Sweeney said, adding: "The time has come."

Let's keep our fingers crossed.

The measure faces heavy opposition from the business community, which contends the nation is slipping into a recession and this bill would make it even more difficult for employers who are already operating in a negative business climate. They argue small businesses would be hit hardest because, unlike the federal leave law, companies with 50 or fewer employees would not be exempt. (They, conversely, would not have to hold the employee's job until she returns to work, as the federal law mandates.)

Sweeney said the program would be funded through a payroll tax that would cost workers an estimated $33 per year. Anyone who is eligible for unemployment benefits would qualify for this benefit, he noted. The leave would follow the state's Temporary Disability Insurance, which offers up to 10 weeks for a normal pregnancy and up to 26 weeks for a troubled one. Many women don't take advantage of the full benefit, he said, because they can't survive on two-thirds of their pay for that long.

Despite our country's equitable workforce policies, we still don't show enough respect for working women when they have babies and even less for the fathers who want to help care for them.

A recent study that measured working conditions for families worldwide showed 168 countries - out of the 173 countries studied - offer paid leave to women in connection with childbirth. Ninety-eight of those countries give 14 or more weeks of paid leave.

The United States was among four other nations that did not offer paid leave. The others are Lesotho, Liberia, Papua New Guinea and Swaziland. Is that the company we really want to keep?

Other industrialized nations have benefits that working women in the U.S. can't even begin to dream about.

In England, new moms get 52 weeks of maternity leave, regardless of how long they have been on the job. For the first 39 weeks of leave, moms can get 90 percent of their regular pay. For the next 33 weeks, moms get a standard rate of 112.75 pounds ($225.05) per week - or 90 percent of their average weekly pay if that's lower. Their company is not required to pay them for the remaining 13 weeks. During that entire time, however, their jobs are secure. Dads across the pond can take a two-week paternity leave and be paid at the same rate of 112.75 pounds per week, or 90 percent of their average weekly wages, if that is less.

England is now considering a plan to pay for a maternity nurse to help every new mother in her home during the baby's first week of life. Based on the system in the Netherlands, the nurse would help in the home for six hours a day. As well as helping mothers care for baby, the Dutch nurse also aids with the cleaning, laundry and feeding the older children as well as making sure mom's rest isn't interrupted by too many visitors, according to a recent article on the BBC News Web site.

Sweeney, the leader of an ironworkers union, said his reasoning for championing the bill was twofold. For one, too many women head straight back to the office after giving birth because they can't afford to miss 12 paychecks. Secondly, the need for a parent and child to bond is essential in the first weeks of life.

"That's why this is so important," Sweeney said.

For many, the high housing costs and heavy tax burden in this state make the thought of saving money in advance of the baby's arrival wishful thinking.

And what about adoptive parents like myself? We drain our bank accounts to pay for the outrageous costs associated with adoption. Some couple I know have taken out second mortgages or personal loans to meet expenses. There is no savings left, only debt, when we start our families.

As for bonding, adoptive mothers can only begin when the agency places that baby in our hands. We don't get nine months of prep time to form any emotional attachments. It is crucial that we savor those first weeks at home without worrying about how to pay the electric bill.

The study, conducted by The Project on Global Working Families, which is made up of researchers from Harvard and McGill universities, argues that paid leave for childrearing makes sense because it fosters positive emotional development of children, improves the economic condition of families by increasing long-term emmployment, and benefits employers by reducing staff turnover. The logic there is that workers who feel appreciated will be more committed to their company.

My only regret about this bill, if it becomes law, is that I won't be able to take advantage of it. The benefit won't be offered until July 1, 2009. My next baby is expected to arrive long before then.

Oh well. If I could just convince the federal government to double the tax credit for adoptions I just might be able to go back to Texas for a third baby. Then I, too, could get paid to stay home and do nothing but focus on that little child.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Birth Rate Rising

The nation's fertility rate has reached 2.1 - the level needed for this country to maintain its population - for the first time in 35 years, according to recent data from the National Center for Health Statistics.

A New York Times article said demographers were unsure what caused this upward trend. Some social scientists, however, believe there is a connection between fertility and real estate and had rather interesting observations on why the two are related.

When I read this article, I couldn't help but ask myself where I fit in. Did my ability to buy a four-bedroom house influence my decision to have more children? Did my low mortgage rate mean that I could afford to spend money on diapers, formula, etc.?

Ethnicity and geography also played a part in this study.

To see where you fit in, here's the link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/01/us/01birth.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Monday, February 4, 2008

Food Allergies

Parents with children who have food allergies may want to check out a Web site run by a woman whose son has lots of serious food allergies. There are also gluten-free recipes and lots of info on nutrition at this site.

I can't verify how true everything is, but it may be worth reading if you are struggle to find foods that won't cause an allergic reaction in your child.

Here's the link:
http://whattofeedyourkids.blogspot.com/

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Is Your Toddler Ready for a Big-Kid Bed?

How do know when it's time to transition your child from the crib to a big-kid bed? a) You are nine-months pregnant with a second child. b) Your toddler has figured out how to hurdle himself over the side railing. c) You finally saved up $500 to buy a twin mattress.

This amusing essay by an Associated Press writer gives good advice on how to help your child make the move. If you think you're baby is ready for a bed, give this a read.

Here's the link:
http://www.courant.com/features/lifestyle/hc-sundaybedhopper.artfeb03,0,2727703.story274

Friday, February 1, 2008

Colts Neck Moms Group

Jackie Torre attended a gathering of the Colts Neck Moms Group last week hoping to make new friends for herself and her 17-month-old son. Torre, a stay-at-home mom who is moving from Marlboro to Middletown, said she saw an ad in the St. Mary's Church bulletin about the group and thought it would be a good place to meet local moms.

Despite her feelings of awkwardness, Torre packed up the diaper bag and took little Aidan to the Monmouth Museum in Middletown last Thursday. The museum is run by a nonprofit organization that leases space on Brookdale Community College's Lincroft campus. The group was meeting in the museum's Wonder Wing, which has an ocean-themed exhibit geared for children ages 2 to 6. "It's always hard to meet new people," Torre told the Diaper Diva while sitting in the galley of the pirate ship. "The moms seem really nice."

Kristen Ecklord, 33, gets all the credit for reviving the moms group at St. Mary's a year ago. The Matawan native said she had moved to Colts Neck 3 1/2 years ago and wanted to meet other families who lived nearby. "I said, 'There's got to be people we can meet, and have playgroups with people who live five minutes away.' "

With a little determination and help from the church, she made it happen.

The group typically meets twice a month in the church's playroom then goes to a nearby pizzeria for lunch. Ecklord, who worked in marketing before she became a stay-at-home mom to 19-month-old Carolyn, also coordinates field trips and holiday parties for the group. Mothers get a special night out once a month.

Christy Grant, 34, of Colts Neck said she likes the idea of a moms night out because it's hard to hold a conversation with someone who has to chase after their child. Grant, who is pregnant with her second child, plans to spend more time with the group while on maternity leave. She likes the flexibility the group offers: no dues, no commitment, just come when you can.

Lucille Castro of Tinton Falls is the coordinator of adult and family enrichment at the church. She was there when the moms group got started more than 20 years ago. And she has watched friendships blossom over the years as the women got to know each other.

"It's a nice way to build community," Castro said, noting that many women may not have made connections in town if they were working outside the home. Now that they are home, they want to bond with other women who are experiencing the same transition in their lives.

"This gives them a sense of extended neighborhood, and helps build community in the church," she added, quickly noting that the group is not limited to Catholics.

Tracey Kaplan, a part-time social worker who moved to Colts Neck two years ago, said there are no temples in town so she turned to this group to meet other residents.

"These are the kids that my kids will go to school with and the moms who will be in the PTA," Kaplan, 32, said as her children -- Logan, 2, and Olivia, 10 months -- played atop the pirate ship. "I thought this would be a great place to start."

Nancy Morin, 34, of Colts Neck said she had the same idea when she joined the group last winter. The former school teacher said she and her daughters -- Lindsay, 4, and Samantha, 19 months -- have made new friends and shared new experiences, like the museum.

More so, there is security in going to new places with a group of women that you trust to help look after your children. "I like knowing that there are five or six pairs of mommy eyes watching them," she said. "It made me feel a little safer as she (Lindsay) wandered around."

Torre, the 26-year-old former real estate agent, said she enjoyed her first moms group experience and plans on coming back.

"I like the idea of organized activity," she said, "and it gets us out of the house for a little while."

For more information on the Colts Neck Moms Group call Kristen Ecklord at (732) 526-7073.

To learn more about upcoming parenting seminars at St. Mary's Church, call Lucille Castro at (732) 780-7343 ext. 23.

More info on the Monmouth Museum is located at its Web site: www.monmouthmuseumorg.
Please note that children over age 2 are charged the same price as adults - $7. Unlike some other children's museums, there are no reserved hours for free admission.
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