Diaper Diva
This site is not just for mothers of infants and toddlers who live at the Jersey Shore but for all moms who want to share their wisdom and silly stories or ask questions about raising young children. New blogs will be posted weekdays during naptime.
Advice for Toddler Tantrums.
I found an article that offers some quick tips on dealing with your toddler's tantrums. I can sympathize with anyone who is dealing with a 2-year-old child right now. It is embarassing when they melt down in public, but we must learn to handle these unpleasant situations so our children know that screaming and crying won't get them the toy they want. This is good advice that can really help so please read. Here's the link: http://www.lubbockonline.com/stories/072908/liv_310823562.shtml
Cell Phones
I have more bad news about cell phones. A recent study linked behavioral issues with children whose mothers used cell phones during pregnancy. Here's the link: http://uk.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUKTON97595120080729Don't forget the other studies that suggest cell phone use may lead to certain cancers and researchers warn that they may not be safe for young children.
A Room of My Own
Virginia Woolf knows what ails me these days. But even she, the gifted author who penned the classic essay "A Room of One's Own," could not offer any solution to my predicament. Woolf (1882-1941) made an argument that has given women writers the affirmation they need to take their craft seriously: "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." Forget about fiction for a moment. With two small children, I have no time to be creative. I am simply trying to tell the truth, my truth, in this column every week. I am blessed to have money through a profession that was not open to many women in Woolf's lifetime. And I am not going to quibble over the amount earned, although I always seem to need more. The constant worry over whether I should work more hours so I can earn more money or work less so I can spend more time with my children is all-consuming some days. In the end, I opt to spend more time with my kids while they are young despite the financial difficulties and obvious strain on my career. The hardest part is carving out my own space and time. It is no easy feat when my office doubles as the family room and my 2-year-old boy comes charging through the door every few minutes to find one of his lost cars or lay his head on my lap. Today is particularly daunting: Hendrick is sick and my deadline for this column was two hours ago. Yes, we have a babysitter, but I am still distracted when I hear my infant Sophie crying -- or cooing -- in the next room or cartoons blaring in the background. How can I keep my train of thought? How can I offer young mothers any sound advice or words of wisdom when I cannot even think straight? It's one thing to identify a problem. It's another to fix it. Woolf would understand why I have trouble writing with any sense of clarity these days. She saw the value in a woman's economic and personal freedom in order to be creative. All the money in the world, however, could not free me from my babies. If there are any creative words inside me, they will just have to wait a few more years to come out. When my thoughts once again become my own.
Take Your Baby to Work
Can you imagine taking your newborn baby to work? There seems to be a growing trend among some U.S. and Australian companies to let momma return to the office after her maternity leave with infant in tow. An Australian newspaper talked to researchers, employers and working moms about this new trend. Check it out: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24072233-5010800,00.html
Our First Trip to the Emegency Room
Hendrick had an adventure last week. He made his first trip to the emergency room. I thought we would have become acquainted with the nurses and doctors there a lot sooner. We fully expected our first foray into emergency medicine would center around a broken bone or gash on the knee. Instead, it was gas. Almost as soon as we were seated at a booth in our favorite diner last Thursday, Hendrick started showing signs of irritation. John took him outside to give him time to calm down, but that didn't work the way it normally does. We thought he was just being antsy as he squirmed in the booth. Then he began to cry. He finally held his stomach and said, "I need medicine." We left the diner before we could order, concluding that he was too overtired to sit through a meal. By the time he reached the car, however, he started to show real signs of pain. He was grimacing and pulling up his legs, just like a baby. He was also sweating profusely. My mother, who was with us, agreed that we should go straight to the hospital. She was getting worried and didn't want us to take any chances with her grandson. No one had ever seen him in such pain. Hendrick lay limp in my arms as we waited for the nurses in triage to process him. His little blonde head was matted down with sweat. My mother, who was holding Sophie, kept watching his face and updating me each time he silently winced in pain. By the time the restaurant-style beeper vibrated, Hendrick was miraculously better. The flashing lights brought a huge smile to his face and he leapt off my lap. He practically ran into the triage room."I swear he was screaming in pain a few minutes ago," I said to the nurses. My boy sat politely as the pleasant women gently took his temperature and wrapped a bandage-like device around his big toe to check his oxygen levels. He enjoyed reviewing body parts with the soft-spoken doctor as he asked what hurt. We couldn't help but laugh when Hendrick mimicked the doctor as he described the sound gas makes as it travels through the intestines. (He could hear it through the stethoscope.) Hendrick perked up even more when another nurse offered him stickers if he took his medicine. The most difficult part was the dreaded x-ray machine that hung over his body. Both my husband and I had to hold our son down so the technician could snap a quick picture of his abdomen. His fear turned to wonder as he studied the instaneous image of his bones, which showed up on the monitor. The x-ray confirmed, the doctor said, that Hendrick was full of gas. The prescribed antacid and pain reliever had taken effect by then so we left no worse for the wear. The most frustrating part of our visit was not getting any answers as to what caused the gas build-up in the first place. "Was it the pork, doctor? You can say it," I said, feeling guilty about serving my boy meat that stayed in the refrigerator too long. He couldn't say for certain, and he couldn't say that the next time Hendrick is in pain we should assume it's gas. There are so many things that can go wrong in a given day. We were just happy to leave with a healthy boy and a few stickers.
Happiness
I am not sure when I starting becoming a selfless individual but it hit me as I was blowing out my birthday candles last week. No longer did I ask for riches, beauty and fame. (They never came true anyway.) My thoughts, instead, turned to my children. As my family and I stood around the cake it dawned on me that I could not be happy unless my kids were healthy and happy. So I used my 40 th birthday wish on them. Now when I look at couples who are about to become first-time parents I almost feel a little sorry for them. Their heads are filled with thoughts of daddy's little baseball player and mommy's pretty little girl adorned in frilly dresses. Will he be smart? Will she play the piano? Many think the baby will somehow blend into their way of life. It's a harsh realization when they find out it's really the other way around. It's like a fast ball you just don't see coming until it smacks you in the head. Then you get it: It's about them, not you. Last week we went to a pool party and I could not relax for a second, knowing Hendrick would take the first chance he got to jump in the water or venture into the parking lot to check out the trucks. I envied those who could sit casually, eat calmly and talk without interruption, but I would not trade places. Trying to have a conversation with me, however, was disconcerting. My ears were listening while my eyes were following my son's every move. It's joy mixed with worry from the minute you bring your babies home. Treasured are the moments when the children are safe in their beds and you can breathe easy. I tried to convince my friend, who has been married for a few years, that she might not want to wait too long to start a family. But when I finished my speech, the one I gave with my eyes darting all around the picnic grove, she said I was not very convincing. I just could not find the words to tell her why it's all worthwhile. Not until you hold your own baby - whether it's a biological or adopted baby or an older child you bring into your life - can you begin to understand why you willingly turned your entire life upside down, why you put your career goals on hold, why you stopped buying designer clothes so the kids can get music lessons. There are no words to say why there would be no happiness anymore without Hendrick and Sophie in my life. Like air, I need them to keep breathing...and smiling.
Night Nannies
I used to joke that it would be nice to have a babysitter who works the overnight shift so that my husband and I could get a good night's sleep. We haven't had one eight-hour stretch of sleep since Sophie entered our lives almost five months ago. And if you've been in our company for any length of time, you can see how sleep deprivation has taken its toll. (Yes, we are often more cranky than the kids.) The New York Times has reported that several agencies have begun offering nannies who work while you sleep. The cost is steep: $15 to $40 per hour. But if you, too, are walking around like a zombie it may be something to consider for the short term. Even a few weeks could help take the edge off. I know it sounds like a luxury but many accidents happen when people are too tired to think straight. So consider it a safety precaution. :) Check it out: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/13/jobs/13starts.html?_r=1&ref=business&oref=slogin
Latest Articles on Autism
News from the Jungle
Barry Grossman, owner of Junglerrrific, said he has launched a new one-hour program of Story Time and Arts & Crafts. "Call or come in so your child can make a fun arts & crafts project after hearing a story read by teacher Ms. Aimee Cook. We offer sessions for ages 2 1/2-4 and sessions for ages 4-7. This program also includes open gym either before or after class," he wrote in an e-mail. Junglerrrific is on Route 9 South in Howell. For $5, your child can play on the indoor jungle gym or have fun with a host of other toys for hours. There is even a lunch room so you can bring food or have it delivered. (Make sure your child brings socks because you can't wear shoes in the jungle.) When I brought Hendrick last month he had a very good time. I found the place to be clean and neat and the other mothers were very nice to chat with. It's a perfect way to kill a few hours when its raining or just too hot to play outdoors. Grossman added: "We are also preparing to make the most enjoyable 'MOMS' NIGHT OUT EXPO' in an evening during late July, early August. This event will support the Autism Foundation. Bring your family & friends and enjoy the many vendors who will exhibit their jewelry, cosmetics, handbags, educational toys, gourmet food and chocolate delights. JungleRRRific will donate and raffle off a free weekend Children's Birthday Party for up to 15 children and a raffle for free passes to open gym. In addition, a percentage of all sales will go to the foundation." For more information, call Grossman at (732) 577-1118.
Disney Advisors
Planning a trip to Walt Disney World is not only expensive, it's daunting. There is so much to do and see and coordinate in advance, you want to make sure you thought of everything, particularly purchasing tickets to popular shows in advance. The Walt Disney World Moms Panel, compromised of 11 moms and one dad, can answer questions online at http://disneyworldforum.disney.go.com/The site is definitely worth checking out before you put on your big black ears and go into the red. I hope it can help you save some green.
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